funnyordie:

Modern Mantras
Calm your mind and spirit with these meditative chants tailored to the modern professional.

NOURISH YOUR SPIRIT
Harness your self-esteem. Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself, “I have a strong Twitter presence.” Repeat three to twenty times a day.
REACH INTO YOUR COMMUNITY
Reap strength from others. Chant, “I am a titan of LinkedIn,” during communal meditation. Lower yourself into child’s pose and connect to a professional network.
EMBRACE SOLITUDE
Chase self-awareness. Become conscious of your breath, and speak: “I am greater than the sum of my notifications.” For each status that goes unliked, unfriend 20 people.

Continue

Haha…

funnyordie:

Modern Mantras

Calm your mind and spirit with these meditative chants tailored to the modern professional.

NOURISH YOUR SPIRIT

Harness your self-esteem. Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself, “I have a strong Twitter presence.” Repeat three to twenty times a day.

REACH INTO YOUR COMMUNITY

Reap strength from others. Chant, “I am a titan of LinkedIn,” during communal meditation. Lower yourself into child’s pose and connect to a professional network.

EMBRACE SOLITUDE

Chase self-awareness. Become conscious of your breath, and speak: “I am greater than the sum of my notifications.” For each status that goes unliked, unfriend 20 people.

Continue

Haha…

  • 22 April 2014
  • 87